Why Healing Feels Worse Before It Gets Better (Spiritual Awakening Explained)

You thought healing would make you feel better.

You thought that once you started doing the inner work—once you found your Twin Flame, started the Mirror Exercise, began your spiritual awakening—things would finally start to feel peaceful. Lighter. Easier.

But instead, it feels like everything got harder.

You're more emotional than ever. Old wounds you thought you'd moved past are suddenly right in your face. Your Twin Flame is triggering you constantly. Relationships are falling apart. You feel raw, exhausted, and confused. And the worst part? You're starting to wonder if you're doing something wrong.

Why does this feel so bad if I'm supposed to be healing?

Why am I crying more now than I was before I started this journey?

If this is ascension, why does it feel like I'm falling apart?

I get it. I've been there. And I want you to know, you're not doing anything wrong. You're not broken. And you haven't made a mistake by starting this journey.

What you're experiencing is completely normal. And more than that, it's actually a sign that the healing is working.

Let me explain.

Why Growth Feels Like Loss Before It Feels Like Peace

Here's what most people don't tell you about healing: it doesn't feel good at first. Not because healing itself is painful but because in order to heal, all the pain that was already inside you has to come up and out.

Healing isn't about adding something new. It's about releasing what was never truly you to begin with. And that release? It's messy. It's uncomfortable. And it can feel like everything is falling apart before it comes back together.

When you start to spiritually awaken, when you start actually feeling your feelings and aligning with love, you begin to see yourself clearly, often for the first time. And with that clarity comes the realization that so much of who you thought you were... wasn't actually you at all.

You start recognizing all the places where you weren't honoring yourself. Where you were playing out patterns instead of being authentic. Where you were living according to someone else's expectations instead of your own truth.

And that can feel like an identity crisis. Because in a way, it is.

You're letting go of the person you used to be. Your old ideas about yourself. Your ideas about life, about how the world works, about how relationships are supposed to look. And when it comes to the people around you if they're not also growing, they're going to resist your growth. They want you to stay the same. And as you ascend, you're essentially forcing everyone around you to either make the same choice to grow... or to leave.

That's painful. It really is.

You might lose friendships you thought were solid. Relationships that felt deep might dissolve. And it hurts to realize that someone you thought truly loved you was actually just attached to a version of you that no longer exists.

So yes, it can feel like you're losing everything on this journey. But you're not. You're just losing what was out of alignment.

And it's okay to grieve that. It's okay to grieve what you're letting go of. You just don't want to keep holding onto it.

Because ultimately, you have to make a choice: Do you want to stay where you are to keep all of these relationships, beliefs, and patterns? Or do you want to make a new choice to find out who you really are, what you truly believe, and grow into the person you're meant to be?

Do you want your Twin Flame? Your Union? To ascend? To align with your divinity?

Or do you want to settle? To stay the same? To keep running from your patterns?

If you're on the Twin Flame journey, it's because you chose to be whether consciously or unconsciously, your soul made the choice to begin this path and to ascend. And now it's up to you whether you want to continue... or numb out.

This phase, where it feels like everything is dissolving, isn't unique to the Twin Flame journey. It's true of any spiritual awakening. Spiritual awakening dissolves the shit. It just does.

And the question is: do you want to keep holding onto it, or do you want to let it go?

Because if you keep holding on, you're never going to find peace.

When you're healing, you're choosing peace. And all of this stuff that feels like loss? It was never peaceful to begin with.

So the real question is: do you want to keep that thing, or do you want peace?

It's challenging. But it's worth it. Because as you let go and align with yourself, you do receive peace. And ultimately, that peace feels so much better than anything you're releasing ever did.

The "In Between" Phase No One Talks About

One of the hardest parts of the healing journey is the space between who you were and who you're becoming.

A lot of people think that when you heal, you let go of what's not you and then—bam—you're there. You've arrived. You know exactly who you are now.

But that's not what happens.

There's this uncomfortable in-between space where you've already let go of the old, but you're still figuring out the new. You're moving toward yourself, but you don't fully know what's there yet. And this phase of uncertainty can feel so uncomfortable.

This is often where people run back to their old way of being. Because even though the old way felt horrible, at least it was familiar. At least you knew what to expect.

This phase really tests your faith and your choice.

But here's a reframe that helps: instead of seeing this time as uncertain, unstable, empty, and confusing—see it as curiosity, exploration, and adventure.

Because this is the phase where you really get to explore yourself. To get curious about who you are, what you believe, what you want, and what choices feel good to you.

Yes, you can get pulled into the uncertainty and the discomfort. And when that happens, you move through it. But you can also choose to reframe it as an adventure, a time of discovery instead of a time of loss.

This in-between phase can either be an uncertain, unstable nightmare... or it can be an exploration. And that reframe makes all the difference.

This is especially hard if you don't have support. Honestly, I don't think I would have made it through this phase without my coach, my community, and the Teachings of Union. Having that support helped me stay grounded when everything felt like it was shifting beneath my feet.

So if you're in this phase right now, know that it's temporary. You're not lost. You're just in the process of finding yourself. And that's exactly where you're supposed to be.

Let it be an adventure! 

Why Your Triggers Get Louder During Ascension

One of the most confusing parts of the healing journey is when it feels like your triggers are getting worse instead of better.

You're doing the inner work. You're practicing the Mirror Exercise. You're choosing love. So why does everything feel more intense? Why are you more sensitive, more reactive, more aware of every little thing that doesn't feel good?

Here's the truth: your triggers aren't actually getting louder. You're just becoming more aware of them.

Before you started healing, you were probably suppressing a lot. Numbing out. Tolerating things that didn't feel good because you didn't know there was another option. But now that you're on this journey, you're waking up. You're listening to your feelings. You're becoming aware of what does and doesn't align with you.

And the more you heal, the less you're willing to tolerate things that feel bad.

That's why it seems like your triggers are louder because you're finally hearing them. You're more sensitive to how you feel and what's going on around you. You're more aware of what you're willing and not willing to accept.

This is especially intense with your Twin Flame, because they're your perfect mirror. They're reflecting back all the places where you're not loving yourself, where you're still holding onto fear, where you still have blocks to love. And as you become more aware, those reflections become impossible to ignore.

But here's the important part: your triggers getting louder is actually a good sign. It means you're healing. It means you're no longer willing to stay asleep.

And yes, at the beginning of the journey, it can feel overwhelming, because you're becoming aware of a lot all at once. Sometimes it feels like lifetimes worth of pain is suddenly right in your face. But you're not actually being hit with it all at once. You're just becoming more and more aware as you're ready to heal it.

This is also why spiritual hygiene is so important. Your inner work, your integration, your healing, your grounding, your processing this is not optional. This is how you move through it.

And here's something I see a lot of people get stuck with: they think they need to take a break from their healing. They think inner work is exhausting them, so they need to step back.

But if inner work is exhausting you, there's something to look at there. Because healing is loving yourself. Why would you need to take a break from loving yourself?

Now, that's different from moving through spiritual upheaval when you're processing, integrating, and letting old stuff leave. That's still part of the healing process. What I'm talking about is a full-on break from doing any inner work at all.

And that's not going to make you feel better. It's going to make it worse.

Once you start feeling your feelings, you need to keep feeling them. I know that can be overwhelming, especially if you've spent your whole life suppressing them. But you have to keep going. Because taking a break from feeling your feelings isn't going to give you relief.

Feeling your feelings is what gives you relief.

There's no way around your feelings. The only way out is through.

Emotional Detox Is Real (And It's Not Pretty)

When you've been doing inner work and suddenly you're hit with waves of sadness, anger, fear, old memories, or just this overwhelming sense of rawness that's what we call spiritual upheaval.

It's essentially an emotional detox. And it's not fun.

Here's what's happening: when you do the Mirror Exercise and heal a block, you make a new choice. You choose love instead of fear. But everything that was connected to that old choice—all the pain, the patterns, the emotions tied to it—has to come up and out.

It has to leave your consciousness. And that process? It's messy.

You might feel sudden waves of emotion that seem to come out of nowhere. Old memories might resurface. You might feel overwhelmed, raw, or like you're drowning in feelings you thought you'd already dealt with.

And the reason this part gets so uncomfortable for people is because they try to fight it. They try to make it go away faster, or they try to control it, or they judge themselves for feeling it.

But really, all you need to do is relax and let it leave.

Once you've made a new choice, you can't stop this stuff from leaving you. It's already on its way out. And the more you resist it, the harder it gets.

So the best way to move through upheaval is to just let yourself feel it. Let the sadness be there. Let the anger move through you. Let the old memories come up without trying to fix them or make sense of them.

Just let it be. Just let it leave.

Whenever I'm going through intense upheaval, I remind myself: This is the stuff that's leaving my consciousness. And that helps me relax. Because usually, what's leaving feels really, really bad. So once it clears out, it's not within me anymore. And that's a really good thing.

It's not pretty. But it is necessary.

And the best way to move through it is to be compassionate with yourself, do your best to relax, and just ride the waves. Don't fight them. Let them move.

Your Nervous System Is Catching Up

Here's something that doesn't get talked about enough: when you've spent your whole life in chaos, pain, and fear, actually experiencing peace can feel wrong.

When you start healing and you finally come to a place of safety, love, and stillness, it can be jarring. Uncomfortable. Even unsettling.

Because it's new.

And we humans are creatures of habit. We like things that feel familiar because we associate familiarity with safety. But here's the thing: familiar is not the same as safe.

Your nervous system is wired to interpret predictability as safety, even if what's predictable is something that's actually harming you. So when you've been living in fight, flight, or freeze for years, being in a state of peace feels foreign. It feels off.

When you're ascending, you're not just healing emotionally, you're also rewiring your brain and your nervous system.

I've had anxiety my whole life. And I've done a lot of healing around it, and it's calmed down significantly. But I remember when it really went away, I didn't know what to do with myself. I felt so still. So quiet. And it was weird. I kept thinking, "What am I supposed to do? I'm so used to being anxious and afraid and unsafe all the time."

So yeah, there's a lot of unlearning and relearning that has to happen. You're moving from a state of fear into a state of love. And that's no small feat.

You have to integrate. You have to ground. You have to find your footing again. And you have to teach yourself that it's safe now.

That can be a lot. So be compassionate with yourself as you adjust. Your body is catching up to the healing you've been doing. And that takes time, patience and a great deal of compassion. 

Why You Might Feel More Alone Than Ever

One of the hardest parts of healing is how vulnerable it makes you feel. You're going deep within yourself, spending a lot of time with your own emotions, your own patterns, your own pain. And especially in the beginning, that requires pretty much all of your attention and focus.

It can feel isolating. Lonely. Like no one understands what you're going through.

And if you're surrounded by people who aren't on a similar path, people who aren't spiritually awakening or healing, it can make it even harder to connect. Because they're not going through what you're going through. They don't get it.

But here's what's important: it's okay to have more time to yourself when you're learning how to heal and feeling really vulnerable. But it's also important not to completely isolate yourself.

You need connection. You need community. You need people who understand.

That's what I really love about Twin Flames Universe, you have a community of people who get what you're going through because they're going through the same thing. There are tools, resources, and so many ways to connect. I've made a lot of really good friends in this community, and it's been incredibly helpful.

The open forum is a great place to start. You can get to know people, share your experiences, and feel less alone. And if you want to go deeper, group coaching is amazing. I've made some of my closest friends over the years in group coaching.

The point is: you don't have to talk about Twin Flames with every single person in your life. But you do need a community where you can be fully yourself and fully seen in what you're going through.

You can meet people where they're at in other areas of your life. But you also need a space where you are met where you're at.

So if you're feeling alone right now, know that you don't have to do this by yourself. There are people who understand. And finding that support makes all the difference.

The Illusion That Healing Should Feel Good All the Time

Let's be honest: social media has painted this picture of healing as this magical, ethereal process. You see people posting about their breakthroughs, their peace, their glow-ups. And it can make it seem like healing is just... easy. Beautiful. Love and light all the time.

But that's not the whole story.

What you don't see is the messiness. The breakdowns. The nights spent crying on the bathroom floor. The moments of doubt and confusion and feeling like you're doing everything wrong.

You don't see the whole process, you just see the highlight reel.

And here's the thing: a lot of that messy stuff is meant to be private. You don't have to record yourself going through an emotional breakdown and post it online. You don't owe anyone a front-row seat to your healing.

But it's important to recognize that just because you're on a healing journey doesn't mean you're going to feel good all the time.

There's this belief that if you're healing, you should always be in this high, "love and light" state. But that's actually spiritual bypassing. That's avoidance. That's not real healing.

Real healing is messy. It's getting into the nitty-gritty. It's feeling your feelings, not floating above them.

The whole "love and light" thing? It's bullshit if you're using it to avoid the hard stuff.

The goal isn't to be as high as possible all the time. Because if you try to do that, you're going to crash. If you want to raise your vibration sustainably, you have to ground and integrate. You can't just keep going up and up and up without purifying, without processing, without actually doing the inner work.

And there are a lot of healers out there who present it as this pristine, perfect thing. So when people get on the Twin Flame journey and they start experiencing all this pain and all these triggers, they think, "Oh, this must not be my Twin Flame," or "This journey sucks. I'm going to find a soulmate instead."

But that's just misinformation about what a spiritual awakening actually looks like.

A soulmate isn't going to spiritually awaken you like your Twin Flame will. And yes, that means it's going to be intense. Because they mirror you perfectly. And that mirror is going to show you everything you need to heal and where you're aligned.

Growth is messy. Healing is messy. And that's okay. It doesn't need to look perfect. It just needs to be real.

Why the Twin Flame Journey Feels So Intense

Let's talk specifically about the Twin Flame journey, because this is where a lot of people get confused and overwhelmed.

First, it's important to recognize that when you first start your journey, your deepest stuff isn't actually what comes up first. It's just that there's a lot of stuff there in general, and you're not yet grounded or mastered in the inner work. So it feels like a lot.

But here's the truth: you only ever become aware of what you're spiritually able and equipped to handle. Nothing is going to come up for you that you can't heal.

And the more grounded and mastered you get in the inner work, the deeper the stuff that comes up. But it's also easier to deal with, because you're grounded in the process.

Now, let's talk about something really important that a lot of people get stuck on: inner Union versus outer Union.

You might be doing a lot of inner work. You might feel connected to your Twin Flame. You might feel like you're in "inner Union" like you're healed, whole, and complete on your own.

And that's great. But if you're not experiencing union with your Twin Flame in your actual reality, if you're still in separation, there's a block there.

Don't ignore that. Don't disrespect what your reality is showing you.

Because here's the truth: inner Union and outer Union are not two separate things. Union is Union. There's no difference between internal and external union.

When you are truly in Union within yourself, your Union will manifest. If you're truly in inner Union with yourself, you're in Union with your Twin Flame on the outside as well. There's no separation there.

A lot of people get stuck thinking, "Oh, I feel Union energy. I feel inner Union. So I'm in inner Union, but my Twin Flame's not here because they haven't done their work yet."

That's NOT how it works.

If you're still experiencing separation from your Twin Flame, that's not okay. You don't have to be okay with that.

You're meant to be with your ultimate lover completely, in all ways. Not because you need them to complete you, but because Union is your divine birthright.

And there is absolutely nothing keeping you from your Union but you. It's just your blocks to love. Your blocks to union. Separation consciousness. Believing you're separate.

If you're not experiencing Union with your Twin Flame, both internally and manifested in your external reality, there is still separation to be healed within you.

I'm sharing this because it's something I've personally been moving through. I've come to a place where I'm very grounded and mastered in the inner work. I have weekly coaching sessions. I'm also an Ascension Coach, so I help other people heal. And I got caught in the trap of thinking, "I feel good about my Twin Flame. I can feel my union... but I'm not experiencing it."

And my coach pointed out to me recently that I wasn't honoring the fact that I'm still experiencing separation. That I need to go to that place so I can actually heal it.

Because I'm meant to be with my Twin Flame. And so are you.

So if you're in separation right now, don't settle for it. Don't make peace with it. Go to that place. Feel what's there. And heal it.

Because your Union is waiting for you. And it's not somewhere out there, it's within you.

Signs You're Actually Ascending (Even If It Feels Bad)

When you're in the thick of it, when everything feels hard and messy and overwhelming, it can be easy to think you're doing something wrong. That you're failing. That maybe this whole journey isn't for you.

But here's the truth: if you're still here, still choosing to move forward, still doing the work even when it's hard, that's the biggest sign you're ascending.

You haven't given up. You're still choosing to heal. You're still choosing to love yourself. And that matters more than anything else.

Here are some other signs you're on the right track:

You're more aware. You're tuned into how you're feeling. You notice your triggers. You're paying attention to what does and doesn't feel good, and you're not ignoring it anymore.

You can't tolerate what you used to. Things that you used to accept or put up with don't feel okay anymore. You're setting boundaries. You're honoring yourself in ways you didn't before.

You're feeling instead of suppressing. This is a big one. You're not numbing out anymore. You're not avoiding your emotions. You're actually letting yourself feel them, and that takes courage.

You're choosing differently, even when it's hard. You're making new choices. You're choosing love even when fear feels easier. You're choosing yourself even when it's uncomfortable.

Certain things don't have power over you anymore. People, situations, words, or experiences that used to completely wreck you... don't anymore. Either they've stopped happening altogether, or they just don't affect you the way they used to.

Because that's what happens when you do the Mirror Exercise. The experience either changes completely, or how you feel about it changes.

So if you're experiencing any of these signs, you're ascending. Even if it doesn't feel like it. Even if it's hard.

You're doing it. Keep going and never give up on yourself. 

“If you never give up, you can never fail.” -Jeff and Shaleia 

What to Do When It Feels Like Too Much

There are going to be moments on this journey when it all feels like too much. When you're overwhelmed, exhausted, and you don't know how to keep going. And in those moments, the most important thing you can do is take a breath and have compassion for yourself.

Meet yourself where you're at. Love yourself there.

Of course, you want to do the Mirror Exercise. But if you're having trouble even getting to a place where you can do the Mirror Exercise, start with your breath. Just focus on breathing. Ground yourself in your body.

And here's what's really important: you need support.

This journey is a lot. And it's really hard to walk it by yourself.

That's why having an Ascension Coach is so important. Because they can help you on your spiritual journey. They can guide you through the Mirror Exercise in your sessions. And when you're having moments like this—when it all feels like too much—they can help you get clear on what you're experiencing, calm you down, and support you through it.

A lot of people want to believe they can do this alone. And you can try. But it's going to be absolutely miserable. And it's going to take you a lot longer than if you have someone walking with you who's a little further along on the path.

Having the right support makes those moments where it feels like too much become few and far between, instead of every single day.

Because ascending is no joke. The Twin Flame journey is no joke. It's hard. It takes a lot of work.

And it's really important to make sure you're fully supported on your healing journey so that you can master the inner work that's actually going to get you the results you want and help you feel better.

You don't have to do this alone. 

If there's one thing I want you to take away from this, it's this:

Ascension isn't about becoming someone new. It's about releasing everything that isn't truly you, and that process can feel uncomfortable before it feels like freedom.

Healing feels worse before it gets better because you're not adding pain, you're releasing it. You're letting go of everything you've been carrying that was never meant to be yours. And yes, that's messy. Yes, it's intense. Yes, it can feel like you're falling apart.

But you're not falling apart. You're coming home to yourself.

And on the other side of this discomfort? There's peace. There's clarity. There's Union. With yourself, with God, and with your Twin Flame.

But you don't have to walk this path alone.

If you're feeling overwhelmed, confused, or stuck, if you're ready to stop spinning your wheels and actually move forward in your Union, I'm here to support you.

I offer free 30-minute consultations where we can talk about where you're at on your journey, what's blocking you, and how Ascension Coaching can help you heal, align, and manifest your Union.

Book your free consultation here and let's walk this path together.

Your union is your divine birthright. And you deserve the support to claim it.